Have you ever had the thoughts after an experience or interaction, I should have… or I would have… or I could have…? I think we have all had situations where when we think back on the experience, we probably woulda, shoulda, coulda done whatever that was differently. That is why the statement that wisdom comes from reflection is so important. I think another statement that is helpful here is that if “you are not making mistakes you are not growing.” This is all part of the journey of life.
What happens when you make a mistake? One of the main responses I used to have was to feel sorry for myself and wallow in self-pity. Part of this came from my family of origin and what I have come to understand as very guilt driven which in many situations has nothing to do with a “sin” issue, but it was just a mistake. Others would blow it off and use it as a motivation from the space of fear or even self-protection. Whichever you do I am not here to judge or condemn but to bring up the idea of reflection. This is a good first step to growth. With that idea in mind what are some ways to gain wisdom from reflection.
I believe it is healthy and good to reflect. Here are three ideas to help you grow in wisdom.
"Wisdom comes from reflection"
Come to grips with your past.
This is hard but often necessary for everyone to address. If you are unaware of how you interact and respond to others because of the way you naturally respond because it is how you were raised, it is what you learned or just the fact that you have never thought about it is no excuse for not responding appropriately. This is a huge challenge in today’s world as people are seeing how their parents respond and are either learning bad habits or inappropriate ways to interact. What you learned and how you were brought up is a huge filter to who you are. Reflecting on that and the results you are getting may have something to do with that. One idea to help process through this is to go on a mission trip or travel to another country and see a different culture. It was huge for me to see that how I was brought up and the filter that I use may not be the best or even the right filter to use.
Understand your response.
The idea of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is a foundation to understanding your response. A great example is in a personal relationship. As a husband early in our marriage I often tried to change my wife which now that I am older and wiser, I see that this is impossible. Trying over and over as futile and as I grew to understand my response, I learned that I can only change myself. Learning that truly impacted the relationship to be stronger and better. Here is the value of reflection and how it led to wisdom.
Grow in your understanding of responsibility.
This is always a struggle if you do not take the time for reflection. Understanding what you own and what you are responsible for helps in taking the next step or resolving the situation. In many instances there is nothing that you can do about the past but as you take the time to reflect there may be a response or an action that would be required. An example would be if you responded in an inappropriate way you may need to apologize are make the issue right. Being aware and understanding what you did, said or how you interacted takes reflection to examine your responsibility.
"Wisdom comes from reflection"
THE TAKEAWAY!
A big takeaway that I would like for you to understand is that we can all look back on life and have regrets. I have gone through that but have come to the realization that everything happens for a reason and even though I can say that I have made my fair share of mistakes, looking back and reflecting on them I can say that I have learned and grown from those challenges to make me who I am today. Right or wrong, woulda, shoulda, coulda, you cannot change the past, but you can only learn from it. Move on and use those experiences to gain wisdom and be all that God has intended for you to be! Not sure what the next step is, gain clarity with a free "zero" pressure consultation.