I need to first make the claim that I am less than perfect, and I do not have this all figured out. In this journey called life, I am working towards being more authentic which I am still a work in progress. The Marriam-Webster definition describes authentic as something that is real or genuine and not counterfeit. It goes on to describe it as something reliable, based on fact, and believable. Are you authentic or are you a counterfeit person?
I believe this is an inside out job which starts with knowing who you are. What I see in today’s world is that people are living out the lives that they desire others to see and truly do not know who they are. There is so much noise in our world with social media and the news that you and I, that if not thought through and purposefully disconnect from media for seasons, will get caught up in the noise. With all the noise out there can you live an authentic life? Only you can decide. To help you make progress towards that end, here are three ideas to move you further down the road to living an authentic life.
Don’t get caught up in the emotions –
My wife has gotten off of social media because the reactions of people on social media. From my perspective there are conversations that should be taken off of social media and done in person. What I am seeing is the emotions of the moment are sweeping over people and they are shooting darts at others out of emotions and not thought through their responses. Here is where the inside job comes into play. By stopping and understanding your beliefs and values, it will help you process what others are saying and will help you respond in a better way. An example that I have observed is in the response to the issues of the day. I know I have responded out of emotion which has been a response that was disrespectful. The people that I have observed, myself included, who have responded out of emotions, truly in their heart of hearts want the respect from others. Unfortunately their emotions have clouded their response. To help with how our emotions play into our responses it is helpful to pause.
Take time to meditate –
A pause is just the first step. It gives the brain a chance to catch up with your mouth and process through a response. Taking this a step further, with all the noise from the media we need to take some time to reset our brains. Because of stress and an increased emotional state our bodies produce cortisol. This activates our fight or flight mechanism in our brain which in an emergency situation is good but in other situations it causes a reaction which in many cases brings inaccurate judgements. In his book Holy Noticing, Charles Stone stated that mindfulness or mediation can, “in some cases, decrease the amount of cortisol in our bloodstream. It also increases brain density (gray matter) in areas involved in memory, learning, problem solving, conflict monitoring, emotional self-awareness, and self-regulation.” And as a bonus he stated, “It can even help improve our sleep.” (Page 88). Take some time today to pause and disconnect to let your brain recalibrate!
Understand that you do not know everything –
This is an area that I have had to grow in. Is this an area that you find yourself in on social media? Sending darts and information that you have heard or how you understand the world? Let’s go back to the inside out work here and pause to really understand who you are and what you value. I know I cannot change anyone’s thinking by a post on Facebook or any social media outlets. I believe we are made to be in community and to have discussions with others. You and I come from different places and have had different experiences. How you were brought up has a lot to do with who you are, but the challenge is to understand that and to see others for who they are. Warts and all! That includes other perspectives and ideas. Take the time to stop and listen to others!
Who are you and are your living your life through your authentic self or are you a counterfeit? In your daily life take the time to pause and check your emotions. Take the time to recalibrate your brain through meditation and be authentic and value others with the understanding that you do not know everything. In my coaching this is the beginning of the process that I use. If you are interested or just not sure what the next step is in living out your authentic self, or would like to grow in your leadership, get on my calendar for a free “zero” pressure consultation.