A gay actor, an Artist realtor, an American Indian tailor, A fiery Frenchman, A drunk seamstress and an overweight salesman. These were individuals that I interacted with on a daily basis at a job I had just coming out of high school. Mind you this was the experience I had coming from a very conservative background. How would you navigate through this tension and how does that impact your interaction with other?
"Your past does not define you but informs your future."
― Timothy Seeley
In todays highly volatile world how do you interact with people says a lot about you. We all have had experiences in our past that have guided us into who we are today. Whether that is the conservative background I came from or how you observed your parents interact with each other, the things you watched all have been an influence because of these experiences. I have been challenged recently about the thought that your past doesn’t define you, but it informs your future. How you treat others reflects your beliefs and will influence how others interact with you. Here are three ways that you can grow your influence and relationships.
Put away your bias –
This was the biggest challenge for me from my past experience. But working with the different people mentioned in the opening has opened my mind to other experiences. You are who you are because of your past but that does not mean that others are just like you. I am glad that there is a variety of people in this world because if everyone was like me it would probably be a very bland world. The idea here is to take a step back and to realize that others are unique and have a story.
Listen to their story –
Working with people gives you an opportunity to hear their experiences. This is a natural progression when you spend time with people. You get to ask questions about their family and the things that they enjoy doing. You get to hear heart aches and triumphs. Successes and failures. All these experiences have been influential in that person’s life and make them who they are. Take the time to find out what makes others tick. What I have found is that many of the people I interact with have had similar experiences as I have had. You can learn a lot from others!
Use their strengths –
When hearing someone’s story and separating the person from your biases the next step is to hear what their passions are and what motivates them. The challenges of peoples experience often cloud their understanding of who they are and what their purpose is in life. Through working and interacting with people you should be able to gain a better understanding of what they want out of life. Take those little things that you see in them and encourage them. That word of encouragement could be the spark that they need!
What I have found personally is that my past does not define me, nor should it be a roadblock into who I am becoming. The other side of engaging people is that they can either be a help or a hindrance. Take the time to get to know the people you work with and that you interact with. By taking the time to listen to their story you can discern the difference. Everyone has a story. Listen and learn while putting aside your biases because you do have an influence on who they are becoming. Lean into that and make this world a better place to be!