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July 25

How to help those you lead to not attach personal meaning to your message

Character, Coaching, Communication, Daily living, Influence, Leadership, No Optin

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How many times have you been frustrated with your boss or the organization you work for because of an issue with communication? I am sure you have experienced it more than once, and you may have even considered whether you wanted to continue to work for this boss or the organization. Maybe you are the boss and have found yourself in conversational situations with your staff where they look at you dumfounded and seemingly unable to grasp what you are saying. Communication is multifaceted and requires clarity by both the communicator and the receiver.

I have been on the delivery and receiving ends of confusing communication. Whether you are the delivery person or the receiving person in the communication process, as the leader, it is your responsibility to understand and be understood. Here is a very clear explanation of communication.

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"Neil Snyder, James J. Dowd Jr., and Dianne Morse Houghton write in Vision, Values and Courage: Successfully communicating even a simple message requires a linked chain of events: the communicator must identify the message she or he wishes to communicate, decide how to express the message (translating the idea into words or symbols), and decide what channel to use to send the message (written, oral, face-to-face, telephone); and the receiver must hear the message and then translate it for understanding, attaching personal meaning to the message. Each step within the process, however, provides an opportunity for the intended message to become distorted."

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― from "Quantum Leap Thinking: An Owner's Guide to the Mind"

What are some of the contributing factors that lead to poor communication?

Here are three.

  • It is not clear and concise:  In order for communication to be understood by your receiver, it must be clear and concise.  One hindrance that can lead to break down in this is that your thoughts may be clear to you in your own mind, but when you communicate them to others without all the details, they cannot fully grasp all that you are saying. In other words, the receiver cannot read your mind or know everything you know.  What you understand in your own mind may seem so simple, but others just do not grasp what you are saying.   What the quote above stated is first identify the message. Take a few minutes and think through what you want to communicate. Write it down and review it (most documents need to be written at a 5th grade reading level). Ask yourself some simple questions that might come up as an objection to what you are saying. Simplify it, and then communicate your message clearly!
  • It does not concern me:  Andy Stanley said in one of his podcasts that some communication should take place in circles rather than from the podium.  Communication is an important part of a relationship and should be on a continual basis and not merely when there is a problem. If you have a message for one or two people, don’t share it in a company meeting/group setting. Your message will get distorted and likely will not affect the people it is intended for.
  • I am not engaged: Some research I have done says that only 38 percent of employees are satisfied with their boss’s upholding of the policies and practices of the organization he leads.  A boss’s inability to respect his own rules can lead to credibility problems for the boss.  If a boss does not practice what he preaches, those he leads may even begin to attach their own “personal meaning to the message”. People are watching.  If you are not practicing what you are preaching, those you lead are not going to be engaged in what you are saying.

"Communication is multifaceted. Do it with clarity with the intent of understanding."

Remember as the leader, parent or manager, YOU are responsible for communicating and communicating well. What did I miss or what do you think might be an important reason why the message is not heard?


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